Father and Son
Colin, a middle school history teacher, says he’s always wanted to be a parent. He said he would have preferred being in a relationship before he started a family, but would have regretted not becoming a parent-and time and age were becoming factors.
Colin said adopting through the foster care system felt instinctively right. While attending a Popluck event he met SCFFAA Adoption Director, Robyn Harrod. Although his experience with Robyn and SCFFAA were reassuring and helpful, he was not convinced he was ready to begin his family. “I began the training classes and at the end of the first day I left with this huge binder and I felt that there’s no way I’m doing this. It felt overwhelming, the process, the application. But I thought, well, I can handle showing up for the next class-I don’t have to commit yet. So I just kept taking one class at a time. After I finished the classes I left the application on my desk for a couple of months before I was ready to pick it up and look at it.”
Colin reflects on seeing Jordan for the first time. “I walked into the nursery at the hospital and looked around for him. There were several babies in the room, some in incubators, some with tubes attached, and then I saw him – he was in the back of the room next to window. I can remember so clearly-he was so beautiful.”
Colin and Jordan are a trans-racial family-a sign of a new trend in family composition. When asked why he decided on trans-racial adoption, Colin said he had been open to adopting a child-no matter the ethnicity. His readiness to be a parent was more of a concern than the cultural makeup of his family. “When I got the call saying I could pick Jordan up from the hospital, I remember thinking, ‘you’re insane, what are you thinking! How can you afford this? How can you do this physically by yourself?’ After the phone call from Robyn, I hung up and just sat still and listened. After my head cleared, all I heard was, ‘Yes’.
Regarding being a single parent, Colin says “I love every minute of being Jordan’s parent, not that there aren’t challenges. Spending time with him when we aren’t doing tasks, but just being together, there’s nothing more joyful or fulfilling. He’s a lot of fun to be with.” Colin remarks about how being a parent has changed him. “I was so busy before I had Jordan but I wonder what I was busy doing.” He now thinks more seriously about the the future and how to make things safe for Jordan. “There is an intense feeling about making sure he is safe. And then sometimes I look at my life and wonder whose life I’m seeing. I was in the car the other day and I noticed the window screens I had placed on the car windows to keep the sun off Jordan and the toys in the car for him to play with and I thought, ‘I’ve become one of those people.”